A Place Without Friends

Living away from family is, in my opinion, one of the hardest ways to raise a young family. There is no one on call to come over and help out when you're having a bad day or when you're sick. There is no one to watch your kiddos on Friday night so that you and your spouse can escape parenthood for a few hours and enjoy each other's company uninterrupted. There is no one to enjoy a big Sunday dinner with. Somehow people get through it. Somehow we are getting through it. But it stinks.

One of my favorite quotes is, "Friends are the family we choose for ourselves." I have always felt that my very close friends are, indeed, my extended family. When we moved 6 years ago to a town with no family or friends, I looked forward (somewhat anxiously) to meeting new people and forging new friendships. There was a sputtering of friendships that formed in the first couple of years, but unfortunately, these young families all moved away, leaving me, once again, friendless. Then I somehow became very close with one girl who I felt really got me. We were super close. We hung out ALL THE TIME. Seriously. At least a few days of the week were spent at each other's houses, just hanging out, talking, laughing, crying, watching tv, watching our kiddos. Then things fell apart. I won't go into detail because it's really not important, but basically, I feel like I just don't fit into her life anymore.

So now I have pretty much given up on friends, and have had to resign myself to the fact that we really are here ALL ALONE. We have no one we can depend on to help us out. We have to figure everything out for ourselves. And our only alone time comes after the kiddos are in bed. It is so lonely here. The girls at church seem to all get along well, but I just don't fit into that niche. I feel like I am so much more and so much less. The hard days seem excruciatingly long, and the easier days are just lonely. The hubby and I are both getting pretty restless here, so I imagine we will only be here a little bit longer (at most, 3 years, I think). I am grateful for the few close friends that I do have, but I wish that we could somehow live closer together. In the meantime, I will be here, alone.